What is a plan?

A plan is typically any diagram or list of steps with timing and resources, used to achieve an objective. One could also look up strategy. It is commonly understood as a temporal set of intended actions, through which one expects to achieve a goal.

Its funny how your whole life you get taught and prepped to have a “plan”. We go to school so we can be well prepared and educated for our future plans. Twelve damn years we invest in this “plan” We get party invites so we can plan to be free on that date. We plan our outfits and match our shoes. We get engaged with a plan to be married. We go off birth control so we can plan a family. We work hard so we can plan to have a nice house and car. We budget for holidays so we can plan a trip. We have Retirement annuities and policies so we plan ahead for our old age.

But realistically now, how often does it seem that the plans we have for ourselves ever go as “planned”. It’s such a contradiction when a plan doesn’t go accordingly and then we get hit with the harsh reality and my most un-favorite line in the world – “that’s life”! WTF?! What’s the point? We spend so much time planning and prepping and then in one day, in one instant, everything you thought was yours for the taking or everything you worked your ass off to achieve gets pulled from under you – the first thing we have to do, is come up with a new plan! It doesn’t matter how spontaneous or how fun we may be – everyone always needs a plan. And it doesn’t matter how strong you are or how quickly you bounce back – it always sucks to know your plan fell apart.

I remember being 13 and being too sick to attend a school disco to see some boy I thought was so cute , with his wiry curls and big brown eyes – It felt like my world had ended… Holy ratballs, if only I knew then what I know now. Coulda saved all the tears and “woe is me” puppy dog faces for the real stuff. The big plan – the one where you don’t get the dream apartment you been busting your balls to afford or the promotion you worked late nights and smiled at your boss so big for, that you went home with aching cheeks for weeks on end. The car that fell apart on you, and let you down when you needed it most. The month you finally earned enough to save a little extra to splurge and really spoil yourself only to find your washing machine broke and your geyser is leaking so you have to pay for that instead.

Eff me - some times life can be cruel and really have the last laugh but I guess its all relative. Along with being to taught to plan we are also taught to be optimistic, believing and have faith. We are taught to look for silver linings and to be mature enough to straighten up little soldier and stiffen up that upper lip because when one door closes another one opens. Funny how no time frame is given on the new door opening or which door to go through so when do so you don’t land up falling down another Rabbit hole.

*Sigh* Being a grown up is sometimes really hard work. I remember wishing with all my might to be 21 so I can live in my own house and make up my own rules. Shit I never even considered that meant paying my own bills and cleaning my own laundry. Catching my own spiders and painting my own walls. When the bathroom light blows and you have to light candles just so you don’t fall in the loo and when the curtain rail falls and you cant get it up again because you too small or have arms like jelly – It really doesn’t seem as much fun….

But all I can say now, sitting here feeling like a pile of dog poo ‘cos none of my plans seem to be coming together as quick as I’d like or as organized as I’d hoped, is that thank God I have parents who continuously teach me that belief, faith, positive thinking and love really can get you through mountains of shit. Parents that teach me that silver linings do exist and that no matter how many rabbit holes I fall down there is always a way out and always someone to lean on when times seem shitty and plans seems useless.

Give it up ladies and gents for my mom and dad! So today I say Fuck it – Its Friday and for the next two days (okay except for the “planned” football match tomorrow) I will make NO PLANS at all.

TGIF sheep!

xxx