Saturday, December 31, 2011

Auld Lang Syne




In nothing more than her undies and her favourite black, off the shoulder Santa Jack tee and her infamous snow boots, she cranks the volume up once again and throws her head and back and forth to the violent sounds of Rage Against the Machine, strumming on her air guitar she escapes the world and loses herself in the one passion that moves her more than anything. Her Music. Letting her mind and body move to the rhythm of the bass guitar paired with the pounding of the drums, she yells to the lyrics releasing all her fears, her anger, her frustration of the year she spent the last two hours looking back on.

How did she get here? How did she get from Old Years Eve 2010 to Christmas Eve 2011 without completely falling apart? For a creature of habit, change is a bitter, hard little pill to swallow. The end of an era and the start of a new chapter. Exciting – yes, scary – hell yes! But somehow, looking back at all the change and all the negativity and all the scary shit that went down, she came out of it. She came out of it stronger. She came out of it wiser and braver and more compassionate that she had been in a long time. The lessons to be learned this last year had come fast and hard and at one point, she felt like given up. Packing it all up and making one final change.... a familiar one. Going back to the place she thought she may finally belong. But the lessons didn't stop there. They continued. Crept into her safe zone, came in the form of many things. Patience was tested. Boundaries were pushed. Emotions soared high. But one thing that never faltered throughout this new year was faith.

Like the formidable force it is, it pushed her. Forced her to find her feet, get back up on them and charge back into her own life and take control. Her passion, again, became her driving force. The shit days still came... fast and hard but some how she learnt to cry. She learnt to wash the pain out from inside of her and to cope. To manage her emotions and learn to harness them. She is slowly accepting that even though those rainy days roll around, often or not, and it feels like the life she worked so hard to build will be washed away in the flood that follows, she needs to remember that no matter the damage, she is blessed with the capability to repair and move on. Adapt and survive.

So as she appears now, no longer afraid and alone, with the sound of the rough jagged voices emitting from her stereo, throwing herself around the room like a rag doll she cant help but let the melody and the notes wash over her and feel the rush of excitement as she finally accepts that the old year is nearly done and a bright new beginning is peeking out brightly from just around the corner. Its time to accept and move on that while Out with the old..... its always in with the new...

Happy New Year and God Bless.


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