Dating outside the gene pool...

Wow, its remarkable how many epiphanies and realizations I have on a daily basis! Pity life is just so fast that half of them get lost in my head or I convince myself that fate has eradicated the last harsh dose reality and that all is well in the land of love once more….

Its now my aim to get as many of the epiphanies in black and white so when I go through one of my “I just don’t fucking get it” days I can revert back to my place of solitude and one times Fallen Butterfly can keep me grounded!

So my latest light bulb moment is something that may be so obvious to some, but for a non-conforming, contradictory optimist/ anarchist like myself it took a little longer for the obvious to sink in. Do NOT date outside the Gene Pool!

Yes, yes, yes I get it – Just like the ever so popular “He’s Just Not That Into You!” clearly outlines, there is always the exception and the rule and the most screwed up thing is that of late I keep seeing more and more mismatched couples walking the streets loved up and doe eyed, but its those same couples that on closer inspection, I see are the isolated home bodies. The ones who convince themselves they don’t need friends cos they have each other…. Erm…. Okay then…. High Fives to you, you deluded love canaries!

Which brings me back to my point – Dating all the way back to Noah’s Ark – every animal was brought in two by two – Call it narrow minded if you will but I think there was a reason that a pig and a swan didn’t get their freak on. (Just note right now – this is not a piece relating to race or gender – Its PURELY on personality… ok ok and looks *blush*)

I think it’s the same when it comes to dating – I mean if you’re a Rock chick and you meet a preppy soft dude – you may hit it off and you may have a lot of fun but once you start bringing more of yourselves to the table – Could it really work? I mean – lets take our classic good guy – No edge, no drama, no tattoos, no big muscles or piercings…. And then take our little Cinders – She wears way too much eyeliner, listens to music that is far too angry, gets excited at the sight of metal through flesh and uses language that makes her own mom want to curl up and disappear! How will these two make it work? Initially they’ll be drawn by the curiosity of each others worlds and just how different they are but what happens when they realize there is a reason they aren’t alike? What happens when his family and his peers realize she isn’t like the ones they are used to? When they realize she’s not a lady!

Same situation reversed – What happens when our good girl realizes her bad boy is exactly that – Just Bad?! What happens when her family realizes he is no good and they start loading on the pressure? What if he is Afrikaans and she can barely vloek straight? What happens if she is Christian and he is Atheist? Yes I am the FIRST to admit that it takes all kinds to rule the world and I will only ever embrace individuality and support it to my dying day but does it mean that dating outside the Gene Pool is healthy or should we really just stick with like minded partners who may not entice us by curiosity into their worlds, but rather by the flame of common interest and a mutual respect for each others blended uniqueness!

I realize in saying this (see that’s two epiphanies in like 10 minutes!) that this may imply to some that I go against my own theory of natural selection but its not what I’m saying. See I get if you are SO narrow minded and only stick with one small circle of people that you may think you have scored by dating directly in your own gene pool but be careful of not, for a lack of a better phrase, shitting on your own doorstep! My implication is not to say date your mates or people you grew up with, instead I’m saying branch out and meet someone similar to yourself yet someone who you can still grow with. Date someone who makes you feel good about who you are and puts you first. Don’t date someone for convenience and because you feel you would rather settle than make an effort or put yourself out there.

I see so many people together out of pure convenience it’s scary. I may be single and there may be days I hate it so much, I cant help but let those nasty tears stream down my face but I take solace in this – I would rather be alone and in control than be with someone I didn’t feel challenged me, excited me, adored me and deserved me and that I didn’t have those same feelings for!

So although my particular gene pool may be a little smaller than most and although my human nature steers my rod into other Gene Pools from time to time, I’m certain one day my little matching Nemo will come my way.

Gone Fishing!

xxx