Its so funny – Being a frequent flyer and still after 100’s of flights, being so afraid. Today doesn’t seem so different. Sweaty palms, quick breathes, feeling hotter than usual and my tummy filled with a million little butterflies. As I take my seat in the plane and strap myself in something hits me and hard as I try and hold it in, I cant. Tears streaming down my face as I realize its not the flight ahead that has my body responding, it’s everything being left behind.
Through a series of unfortunate events that kick started my new year I made a last minute decision to head back home for some mommy n daddy cuddles and a lil bit of a soul search in between. I had no doubt my folks would provide soothing comfort as they always do but what was to be the next 10 days that followed. I never saw coming!
My heart is so hugely swollen with pride right now and although I often speak about being blessed to have two homes. Home really is where the heart is and after only a few hours I discovered the heart I left behind!
What started off as weekend trip to lay poolside at the rentals by day and hang out with ol friends and a bottle of Jack in the evenings, turned into an emotional rollercoaster and an eye opening realization of just how abundantly blessed I am in my life. What I thought would be bar side banter quickly shifted into prophetic advice and loving psycho analysis’. These convos coming from anyone else would have sent me off the deep end but somehow hearing my full name being used and the familiar voice from where it came, all the little home truths didn’t seem as bad.
In fact if I’m totally honest through all the partying and the lack of sleep and overwhelming attention and support I was given these last 10 days, it was surprisingly so clear where everyone was coming from. It was easy to understand advice being spoken in a language I could connect with emotionally. Knowing the advice was being given in my best interest and not in everyone else’s, I discovered a strength I had forgotten about and I found it really hard remembering all the reasons I was so adamant I had for leaving Joburg initially.
Fair enough this was a short stay trip, that left me feeling fulfilled and like I was a part of something big again and socializing in my native tongue left me breathless and excited, so it may be so that this feeling will wear off and the attention may disappear but before the glitter and sparkles evaporate I want to thank everyone who had a part in my most awesome trip back to Jozi to date!
Rock On Hometown!!
xxx
We too are truly blessed with a daughter as strong as you. I myself, have taken on a lot but it can never compare to what you have done with your life, where u were, and where u are now!!
ReplyDeleteWith dad's motivational talks and my hugs, kisses and crying..... I see a bond that you have with us that can never be broken. When I see you and hear your voice, I see dad and me combined in one. You have strength from your father and compassion from your mother and that in my mind, is a good thing making you who u are today.
We love you and are very proud of the huge task you are about to take on. Nothing can be accomplished without trying and no matter what happens, good or bad - your home away from home, will always be open to you.
xxx Until next time xxx